Financial Infidelity
Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008 Subscribe To Our Feed
Entering marriage without discussing financial expectations can lead to a rocky road for a new couple. As daunting as it is, balancing marriage and money is critical to any relationship. How much freedom should each person be allowed? Is it acceptable if he purchases a new video game without first asking his wife? Should she be allowed to go out shopping for a new outfit without consulting her husband first?
If one or both partners is used to spending freely, having to discuss purchases with his or her spouse once they get married, can feel restrictive and unfair. There are many decisions to make when joining into a marriage: should you keep your separate bank accounts or open only joint accounts? Some couples allow themselves a certain amount of discretionary spending, for instance: spending over $200 should be discussed.
The picture becomes more complicated when taking into account whether the couple has a duel-income or if one is a stay-at-home spouse. If one partner isn’t working while staying at home to raise children, how should discretionary income be budgeted for? Each partner will need some money to spend freely in order to feel independent.
Financial Infidelity can show up in many ways. One partner might purchase an item and hide it in the back of their closet so the spouse never notices it. Another might go to the grocery store, get cash back, and then pocket the change.
One particularly heinous example of financial infidelity is having a secret bank account, which many agree might be grounds for divorce. Another might be having a secret credit card.
Confessing spending or financial secrets can be liberating. Using an anonymous online website for revealing secrets and confessions can be a good first start. Getting to the bottom of why you are keeping the secret is a critical step in coming clean.
Keeping secrets is risky business in more ways than one. It can ruin your marriage, but it can also ruin your health. Confessing anonymously online is a great way to start the process of telling the truth without fear. Once the ball is rolling, confessing to your spouse could be the next step.
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